Recent studies have reported that left-handed people die younger than righties, women have a 50% higher chance of getting breast cancer if they are left-handed and most recently, left-handed people have a higher chance of developing schizophrenia—grrreat. Although most of these studies claim that scientists have no idea why. I have a theory…
I think it has something to do with the sheer mind twisting that goes on trying to live left-handed in a right-handed world. Think about it, doors, phones, knives, scissors, musical instruments, cars, bounded note-pads…they all require some sort of mental readjustment. I have one knife I use faithfully, because it’s the only one that cuts properly for me. In notepads, I start on the ‘backward’ side of the last page and work my way forward. Using a can opener? Forget it, I can’t. Throughout my whole life, I’ve had to adapt, modify and go against nature, whether it was from playing baseball in grade five using a right-handed mitt (which involved catching the ball in my left hand, whipping off the glove, throwing the ball with my left, and shoving the glove back on before the next hit); or learning to play the guitar in grade eight…upside down and backwards—it’s all a brain fuck.
Everyday there is some roadblock that requires alteration, whether subliminal or not it’s draining for us lefties to get by in a right-handed world. No wonder some days my head is pounding from using a right-handed mouse. Oftentimes I switch it, but some mice aren’t ambidextrous. In fact when I started university, the left side of the keyboard had no room for a mouse, so I was forced to learn it right-handed. Eventually I gave in and used the right-handed mouse for everything, even gaming—it just became too much of a hassle and actually I became quite good at maneuvering. It wasn’t until a few months ago I decided to switch. Talk about immediate relief—it was pure bliss. Despite the occasional instinct to reach with my right, I now use mice exclusively with my left. The only thing I haven’t been able to master yet is gaming. (I just can’t walk forward, turn and shoot, it requires too much undoing of already learned behaviour.)
I had a psychology intern in my office recently to train her on a computer program and she saw me struggle with the dilemma of which hand to use to guide the mouse. She thought it was interesting how the two sides of my brain were fighting for control. It was interesting to note the subliminal, internal struggle going on each time I reached for the mouse. I wasn’t aware of the massive, internal battle going on, but I found it frustrating that my hands and brain weren’t talking at all!
Sure, we may be the clichéd creative, artistic and all the other good things but are we prone to disease, mental illness and early death simply because we use our left-hand more? All I can say is try living in a backwards world, where your brain is forced to do unnatural things, while every attempt at writing neatly becomes a smudged, inky mess. It’s no wonder we are destined to become cancerous, schizophrenics who only live until 40.